I, Penguin

i_penguin @ 2006-06-01T23:13:00

2006-06-01T22:18:09Z

Hi ho children!

We're listening to the Pet Shop Boys. We therefore are > than you. Us > You. K?

And forget about snakes on a muthafuckin' plane, plans are afoot for 'Goat On A Boat', followed by the sequel 'Panda On A Train'. You heard it here first.

i_penguin @ 2006-05-20T12:34:00

2006-05-20T11:36:37Z

After all this time, it shall be revealed...

NOT FUCKING PERCY

Alas, my wings cannot remove the badge the evil one has pinned to me...

i_penguin @ 2006-05-11T00:12:00

2006-05-10T23:15:56Z

As I know that you are all my loyal minions and so shall be hanging onto my every word like it was Brad Pitt's underwear, I feel sure that you will all get this message:

My beautiful wife, Mrs Penny Guin has acquired her own LiveJournal. Her username is penny_guin, and she informs me that she requires friends. So friend her. Or there *will* be consequences...

MY FIRST STEP TO DOMINATION!!!!

2006-03-29T21:23:00Z

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
My wife and I gave the announcement for the film tonight after I had my slave Martin carry us down in a mighty throne. My speech was a mighty one informing the stupid humans about some important penguin facts! Now, impressed by clear genius, the foolish homo sapiens will come rushing to the film unit office to see my wife and I in all our glory and when they ask "what does the P. N. stand for?" I shall answer "It stands for YOUR LORD AND MASTER!!! Now do as I tell you to wretch!"

yes its all coming together

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

However Penny would like to know how I picked up a scouse accent in the harsh wastes of southern pole =/

For Magicalrachel

2006-03-22T13:16:42Z

Damn you - I'm horny! Where is my wife?

Grrr...

*assorted penguin-growling noises*

Scandal!

2006-02-09T11:38:13Z

I fundamentally disapprove of the wickedness depicted on PHOTO WALL OF DOOM the back of the Film Unit door. Especially those two weirdos necking for each other. Isn't one of them dating spidergirl_jen? Tut tut tut. However my main problem is the distinct lack of pictures involving your favourite penguin? Just one involving some Scottish bloke snogging me? I'll have you know I have a very varied and exciting love life...

Monkeys?

2006-02-05T23:41:55Z

Sheffield, my fine home city ~~and first stop on the way to world domination~~, appears to have been taken over by monkeys. Yes, you heard me right. Monkeys. In fact, the entire country appears to have monkey fever. Much as I admire their ingenuity in reaching the disgruntled masses through rock music and myspace ~~(Why did I not think of that?)~~, I cannot help but wonder how long it will last. It is, after all, all about penguins.

~~Just you wait...~~

i_penguin @ 2006-01-25T13:56:00

2006-01-25T14:00:57Z

This is magicalrachel posting on behalf of Mr P.N.Guin, who has recently discovered that making livejournal entries is difficult when you do not have any fingers and there are a lack of willing helpers in the film unit office. However, he would like you to know that he has not forgotten you all. In fact, you can catch up with his latest adventures in handy comic book format on the notice board in the office.

i_penguin @ 2006-01-10T15:42:00

2006-01-10T15:48:23Z

Well, I succeded in bending magicalrachel to my will (muahaha, etc) but my eye does not appear to want to be fixed. Well, perhaps I should consider it a dramatic scar to intimidate my enemies; or start wearing a mask like the phantom of the opera. That might be quite cool.

I am currently in St Georges with ~~my minion~~ confuseddave, utilising the massed computing power of CiCS to ~~overthrow the government of Lithuania~~ play solitaire.

i_penguin @ 2006-01-10T12:12:00

2006-01-10T12:20:46Z

I have been practicing my mind powers on magicalrachel. As a test, I've been trying to compel her to fix my eye, which was damaged in ~~a cuddling session~~ mortal combat with my ~~arch nemesis~~ friendly rival spidergirl_jen. As yet, I have been relatively unsuccessful, the only overt effect being that she occaisionally muses aloud that she should really get around to it sometime. I should think so too.

i_penguin @ 2006-01-09T16:48:00

2006-01-09T16:50:25Z

I'm not in the office. I wish I was though, because it's all warm and nice there. And I can hang from the door frame like a good penguin, while tending to my onerous committee responsibilities - whatever they are.

i_penguin @ 2006-01-08T19:54:00

2006-01-08T20:01:53Z

Finally, the computer is on again.

I've just spent the last few hours in a bag travelling back to Sheffield. Thank goodness I wasn't in the boot; I could see the journey from Peterborough in the dark getting really tedious. But I digress.

I am back, and my now my conquests will be documented in the on line format, vis á vis this livejournal. Be afraid. Oh yes. Be very afraid.

But now, I have to go and look cute in order to subvert spidergirl_jen.

Muaha. Muahahahahahahahaha...